How To Repair Your Relationship With Your Dog

Take a step back for a moment – how is your relationship with your dog?

In an ideal world, we would live harmoniously alongside our beloved pets. They would respond to our every command, and never do anything to risk antagonizing or frustrating us. Their behavior would be completely predictable and thinking about them would only generate warm and fuzzy thoughts in our minds.

However, the world isn’t ideal. Perhaps the very fortunate among us have experienced the utopia of the previous paragraph, but for many of us, we will be able to recall a time when we became frustrated with our dog. It may have been as recent as this morning, when our dog refused to come back inside after we had let them into the backyard. It could have been yesterday evening, when we found them rummaging in the trash to get their fill of the leftovers from dinner.

This frustration doesn’t mean that we don’t love our dogs. It doesn’t mean that we don’t care for them. But what it does mean is that, little by little, the strength of our bond with them can fracture. The occasional lapse is to be expected, but if you find yourself constantly exasperated by your dog (and vice versa…), it may be time to reexamine your relationship – and work to repair it.

Signs of a healthy relationship with your dog

Your dog responds to basic obedience cues like Sit, Down or Stay in a variety of different environments.
Your dog’s body language exudes calmness around you – they are available for petting, with soft eyes and a relaxed posture.
You do not have to constantly resort to raising your voice for your dog to respond to your instruction.
You have confidence in your dog’s behavior when taking them out in public.
You and your dog look forward to spending time with one another.

Signs your relationship with your dog may need work

Your dog fails to respond to obedience commands consistently.
Your dog displays fearful or anxious body language around you, such as growling, trembling or lip-licking.
Your dog is wholly dependent on you for confidence, and suffers from separation anxiety when you are apart.
You dread taking your dog out in public because of past incidents.
You are easily annoyed by your dog’s behavior, and find yourself raising your voice at them on a regular basis.

Six ways to repair your relationship with your dog

If you read those lists and feel like your relationship with your dog could be improved, the good news is that there are a number of ways you can work with them to improve your relationship. The biggest piece of advice we can offer, however, is that you will have greater success by changing your approach than you will expecting your dog to magically do the work from their side. You are their guardian and can provide a much greater influence on the situation.

Below are a few ideas to improve your relationship with your pup.

1) Change your mindset

When anything in life gets us down, it is natural for us to lash out and become frustrated with the situation. Your dog will feed off your emotions – that’s why we often hear about tension flowing down the leash, and the impact this can have on our dog’s behavior. Remember that positivity breeds positivity. Approach your dog with the same positive outlook you had when you first met them. Be mindful of how you interact with them – if you are agitated, then that will spread to your dog. Instead, try to project a calm and relaxed demeanor, and attempt to resist the urge to yell at your dog. You will be amazed at how this simple switch can transform your interactions with your dog.

2) Learn about canine body language and stress signals

We can gain incredible knowledge from simply studying how our dog responds to certain situations – and adjust our plans accordingly. You might think that taking your dog to a dog park or another public location is the best way to socialize them, but if your dog is extremely fearful of others, this could actually have a detrimental impact and set their confidence back even further. Take the time to study canine body language and interpret their behavior. Forcing your dog to do something they don’t want to do is a surefire way to erode their trust and understanding.

3) Communicate clearly

Clear communication is vital for a successful human-canine relationship. If your dog doesn’t understand what you want them to do, it can result in frustration for both parties. Furthermore, humans often believe they are providing clear guidance for their dogs, when in reality they are sometimes providing mixed messages or confusing signals. Set clear rules around your home so there is no room for confusion (ex: if you don’t want your dog to counter surf, ensure that nobody is feeding them scraps from the dinner table). When teaching behaviors and skills, you can use a clicker or other marker to maintain consistency.

4) Work on your dog's obedience

Often, frustration arises from dog owners because their dog simply “won’t listen”. Alongside clear communication, the best way to manage this is through consistent training to improve your dog’s obedience. They don’t need to master all the advanced commands at first – simply having a reliable recall, alongside the basics of Sit, Down and Stay, will offer you greater control and peace of mind, particularly if you generalize the behavior in different environments.

5) Go on adventures together

Making time for your dog is a crucial part of being a responsible dog owner. That means providing them with the necessary mental enrichment to thrive – after all, if you spent your entire day inside the confines of your home, you’d probably start to suffer too. Plan days out or adventures together – whether it’s as simple as taking them to a local dog-friendly store, or something further afield like a hike around a park. These outings expose your dog to different places, and consequently offers mental stimulation that can help prevent destructive behavior.

6) Teach them a new skill

Getting your dog involved in a new activity is an excellent way to rebuild your relationship with them – particularly if the skill requires your involvement as their handler, as this will naturally improve the trust and understanding between the two of you. There are a number of dog sports, such as agility or scent work, that offer numerous benefits to dogs of all ages, sizes and breeds. For physically active dogs, Search and Rescue or dock diving can be a great way to provide necessary physical exercise, in addition to mental stimulation.